I'd woke up one day and realize that life would never be the same again ; every morning I'd be awake and wishes that it's just a dream ; a nightmare to be exact, but yet it is not, for once my wish didn't come true, wish that I'll wake up early in the dawn, getting ready for the day, waiting for him to drive me to college with his cab ; that I'll received a text message asking me what time to pick me up, waiting for him to pick up, waiting in the cab while he went to buy food: keropok lekur and banana fritters, chatting away bout my day with him, asking him bout random stuff to avoid him from getting pissed with drivers in Malaysia, sleeping in his cab while he's driving us back home, arrived safe in one piece and finally be home with my family. But then, life doesn't work that way, fate took him away from me when all he ever seen me is a lazy ; unambitious ; and to top it of a failure. I'll never get a chance to prove to him that I'll be a well re-known fashion designer in the world, named with Dato' to my name, to surprise them with a huge mansion ; a garage to fit the cars ; a fantasy garden for him to care ; a lake for him to fished ; a surau for him to lead us his family to daily prayers ; a family cinema to watch his our favorite movies as a family time together ; but what hurt me the most is that knowing that he won't be there to give me away proudly to my future husband to be son in law ; to witness my wedding day fills with joy, happiness and mostly love ; he won't get a chance to get the news of my first pregnancy ; to hold his first grandson from his youngest ; to see my children grew ; not gonna be there giving me advises in kids ; my children won't get a chance to live in his memory nor remember how he look ;
and cause of this nightmare, I'd lose a piece of my heart and to know his gone forever will never be stitched again.
but I'd promised you on your death bed that 'I'll make you proud' and I'll grant that promise even if that's the last thing in my to do list.
whatever it is, you'll forever be in my memory...
till then we will meet again on the end of time, my best bud
and I'll forever love you, papa as you're the best dad any child could asked for....
a song to remember you by ;
